Intervention? I'll Take a Pass

by "Reality" Rick

I watch a lot of TV. Some might even say too much. Right now I'm out of work, I'm taking what some call a "hiatus". I have been able to stay afloat by living at my dad's house for free. This is only a temporary condition, but I must admit, I am enjoying it.

In particular I love to scroll through the reality TV episodes saved on my DVR. I can spend all day smoking quality marijuana and riding the roller coaster of emotion that is reality TV. Recently I came across a show that caught my attention. The name of the show is "Intervention". The show focuses on one out of control addict every episode. When drama reaches a boiling point, Jeff VanVonderen is called in to save the day. This mustachioed, ex-addict, bald-headed, straight shooter confronts the addict with a choice: rehab and a life of sobriety with family and friends or a lowly existence on the edge of death without a support system of loved ones. The family is there to ensure the addict that VanVonderen is not bluffing.

How can a person coexist with their (typically) dysfunctional family without the help of drugs or any other escape from the real world, you ask? I don't think any sane person would even dare to belly up to the task without some aid. Can this interventionist paint a more unrealistic picture of all available options? With VanVonderen it is a black and white issue.

I happen to disagree and for the last eight year have been proving that the spectrum of options does exist and that we can make our own choices and take control of our lives. VanVonderen does not inform the addict that there are many people living in our world who have managed to balance their lives and their addictions to a point of total equilibrium. We must strive to reach that point because as we all know, life is better with drugs.

I challenge Mr. VanVonderen and the producers of Intervention to actually make a legitimate case that a life of total sobriety is more stable and more maintainable than the equibalanced state achieved when you become a Functional Addict. Most of the addicts I have seen on "Intervention" cower in the face of VanVonderen and their teary-eyed families. They enter rehab and agree to say goodbye to one of the most rewarding facets of their lives. I have chosen a life of functional addiction and encourage you to do the same. We can all experience the joys that functional addiction brings. Mr. VanVonderen, we thank you, but we must decline your invitation to sunny Tucson, Arizona.